I Just Told My OB I’m Having A Home Birth!!

In my recent extensive research on home births versus hospital births, I have decided that it is much better for me to give birth at home. I have found that there is a huge community of people who agree and support this viewpoint but few who do outside of that community. I want to make something clear though, I am not anti-hospitals or medicine. I completely see the need for hospitals and am so thankful for modern day medicine. What I am getting at is that hospitals and medicine are unnecessary for most births. I acknowledge that there are cases where intervention is absolutely necessary. But I’m not talking about those cases. I recognize that doctors are necessary for if something goes wrong. Again, I’m not talking about those cases. In fact, statistically, things rarely go wrong during a birth where the mom and baby are healthy.

Birth is something that a woman’s body was perfectly designed to carry out. Yes, sometimes things go wrong. Yes, it is very, very difficult to endure. But, we do endure. I have been so encouraged, through several resources, people, and my own midwife, that I was made to do this and as long as there are no serious complications I will be just fine. It will be hard but not impossible! God created my body to stretch and do all the other things it needs to to grow and birth a human. How beautiful is that picture?

I started seeing an OBGYN when I first found out I was pregnant. A few weeks (maybe a month) after that, I found the perfect midwife. She is a godly woman who is good at what she does. I felt very satisfied with my OB care and my midwife’s. But I knew I’d have to tell my doctor sooner or later that I was now planning a home birth.

I’m apart of different mom/labor/parenting support groups on Facebook and have heard/read horror stories of people having fights with doctors and nurses because of their decision to have a midwife and home birth. I was terrified at the idea of telling my OB that I am planning a home birth because I didn’t want to feel “bullied” into choosing a hospital birth. I actually asked for advice and was told “just stop scheduling appointments with your OB.” That’s a very passive way to do it but, hey, you don’t have to talk to anyone! I tried that route and I got asked to come in for an appointment today. I couldn’t just woman-up and tell my doctor to his face before. Well, today was the day.

I prayed and asked my midwife for advice. I was most nervous of being called “foolish” or being told that my baby is going to die if I have her at home, as these are some of the horror stories I was told that actually happened to women. I did plenty of good research and I know that this is the right decision for our family. I just want to be respected in that. When I got to the office, I met with the nurse and told her my birth plans. She hesitated a bit and asked if I told the doctor. “No. I will tell him today.” I said bashfully. Oh no!! Here comes the judgment and rudeness. I braced myself and waited. The nurse just informed me that I need to talk to the doc about this, as I cannot continue care with both him and my midwife. Fair enough. Once she took my blood pressure, I asked “do you know if doc supports midwifery care and home birth?” I was nervous for the answer but to my surprise, she said he does. He actually has a midwife at the hospital who he works with. What a sigh of relief!!

When he came in and checked me, the topic was finally put on the table. I told him my plans and he was extremely supportive of them. He went on to tell me that midwives are better suited to deliver babies versus an OB. He let me know that an OB is very helpful for surgical procedures and other things, that they are there IF intervention is necessary (he mentioned that if I needed to be transferred that it doesn’t mean automatic c-section and that my wishes will still be taken into account and respected, including having a med-free birth) , but at the end of he day the woman deliver the baby and does all the work, not the OB. He also told me that babies being born at hospitals became a thing so that hospitals can make more money!! I knew this but I couldn’t believe I was hearing this from a doctor!! I let him know that I was nervous to tell him and am glad he’s supportive. He told me that they are supportive and can’t hate me for my decisions and that if I need a hospital when I give birth, they are there for me! He was so gentle and kind. This made me like and respect him even more!!

Unfortunately, for legal reasons, I can’t see him and my midwife at the same time. So I won’t be seeing that awesome OB at Spectrum Health anymore. But I want to give him a shoutout because I knew that there were doctors out there that were supportive of midwifery care and home birth. I just never thought I’d be so fortunate as to meet one and be cared for by one!! Praise the Lord for doctors like him!! He also mentioned how an OB is unecessary for births unless there is a surgical procedure (or another difficult intervention) that needs to happen. He spoke very professionally about all of this and made me feel so comfortable and smart with my decision. Before I left the office he said, “I don’t blame you,” regarding my birth plans. He encouraged me to stay healthy (eat right) and all shall be well. This guy didn’t speak negatively about doctors or medicine, nor did he speak badly on midwifery care and home births. God was so good to me in sending me a doctor like him.

I want to encourage other mamas or women who want to have babies someday. Having a midwife and a home birth are very safe options for bringing a child into this world. If intervention is not necessary, there is no reason to birth at a hospital if that is not what you want. If you choose to have a home birth with a midwife, be confident in that and just know that you are supported. You are supported by the community that supports me, you are supported by midwives and doulas, you are supported by experienced home birth mamas, and you are supported by OBGYNs like my doc. So, go for it. Do your research, of course, but don’t be afraid to make the decision to birth at home if that is your desire.
Thanks for reading!!

birth

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Wow! Sounds like your ob was super open-minded. Do you live in England? I’m from USA and it seems drs here are super NOT fond of home birth. My mom had 7 home births which all went well. Shoulder distocia and a 10lb 5oz baby and all. God was with them though, clearly. Myself? The idea scares me crazy. I’ve had a c-section and a vbac in the hospital and am planning to vbac again if possible. I bet it would be super comforting to be at home during labor and birth but I wouldn’t attempt it with my clotting issues. I do hope it goes beautifully for you and that you have a very soothing and amazing experience. 🙂 Definitely keep us posted!!

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    1. Bjorliespeaks says:

      I am actually from the US! I live in Michigan! I am as surprised as you are about my doctor’s reaction!!! I honestly never considered home birth until I got pregnant. Since I am low risk and have a ton of support, I decided to just go for it! I am open to being transferred to the hospital if I need to be, but home birth is my first choice. Thank you for the well wishes!! I will definitely be sharing my birth story on here so you all will be able to see how it went for me!!!! And I really hope you get to do another vbac!! 🙂

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      1. Crazy! I had no idea that any ob around here would be cool with the idea. That’s actually super interesting to hear his take on it being more “surgical” to go to an ob. I’ve always thought so too but didn’t know any Drs realized that. I’m glad you’ll share your story on here. Super excited to read it!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Bjorliespeaks says:

        Yeah, very interesting!!! I’m so thankful to have had him.

        Thanks for reading!!

        Liked by 1 person

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